Saturday, April 16, 2011

Language Creationism

I wrote this satire (i.e. not to be taken seriously) because Young Earth Creationists surrounded me for three hours and asserted the strangest things about biology like that mutation is only harmful. For more on Evolution by natural selection and Creationist lies, see
There is a conspiracy. Atheist linguists have brainwashed our children and barred all criticism of the dogma of the decent of languages. It is almost universally accepted in academia that the European languages descended from a common ancestor called Indo-European. Just by writing this essay, I risk being expelled and labelled a cook, but  despite that, I will bravely stand next to God in this pursuit of spreading his Truth.

What the Academia tells us and why it is false:

  1. Linguists say that Spanish, French, and Italian are romance languages and have evolved from the now extinct language Latin, but where is the evidence, the transitionary languages. 
  2. Linguists claim that words are forgotten, invented, and have their meanings changed, but evidence done by our linguists have been very successful in their goal of proving that all changes in the make up of languages are negative or subtractive. In other words, when languages do change, it is to a more derivative and colloquial and not more sophisticated and exact.
  3. They claim that languages started off simple and became more complex, but modern languages are irreducibly complex. If a language did not have words like I or you, the language would fail to function; therefore, there can be no languages before these words. Some intelligent agent must have intervened in order for these languages to exist.
The Truth:
Since I have proven the linguist theory of the decent of languages false, the Bible's account of the orgin of all languages must be true. All languages were create by God in order to divide humankind after they tried to build a tower into Heaven.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't there the distinct possibility that the Biblical story of "The Tower of Babel" is figurative? I think the reason certain aspects of Christianity allegedly contradict scientific evidence is because of flawed assumptions (such as: all stories are true and aren't figurative, the earth is only 10,000 years old, etc) that are made and then blindly accepted throughout religious communities.